Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

I am sure I will get into trouble for this….

Saturday, August 7th, 2010

No words really needed.

For some time the flow of emails from offshore companies (offshore is a great term here, how far do they have to be before offshore becomes other side of the world?) had slowed to a trickle. Then our very own Mr Cameron took his high power delegation to inja and once again the emails have started. How many of these companies can there be?

I received emails this week from a number of different companies in India offering services, the first email told me they wished to talk of their enchanting gamut of services. I almost booked the call just to understand what it was they had to offer, really an exciting gamut of services, what does that actually mean I wonder? Then the attached picture arrived!

Another told me they ‘gad great quatity’ in their service. Their quatity was so good they even spelled india without the capital I.

The list of well know elearning companies they claim to be using their services gives great cause for concern. Ask your vendor if they are outsourcing, if they are ask what they are doing to check the quatity.

Then call me. Great week of funny blogs….

Are you giving 100%?

Thursday, August 5th, 2010

I saw this and loved it. Can’t give anyone credit for it, as I don’t know who wrote it, other than to say I wish it was me, but sadly it was not.

But had to share….

This is  strictly a mathematical viewpoint. It goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder
about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all
been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the
Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Blogging from my iPad

Saturday, June 5th, 2010

Back from Istanbul, been in Milan and now in London for learning and skills group.

Now been playing with my iPad for just over a week. This is the future.

Going to be interesting to see what learners make of it when they see what we have created for mLearnCon in San Diego shortly.

Thought it was time I installed WordPress and blogged. It is so easy to type that I can see lots more blogging in the next few weeks.

Impressed? Well if you don’t have one yet, you are missing something fantastic.

More to follow… Now to work out how to add tags!

Shall I eat here

Saturday, May 29th, 2010

I am in Istanbul, came to speak at the HR Summit (more later) found a place next to the hotel to eat. Googled it with Google translation, question is, Should I eat here?

“In the summer outdoors in the winter when there is so much beauty in all of them will be deprived of if you have already stated he thought we’d be wrong.

Güzelli?ide winter weather is creating a separate restaurant. While watching a movie on TV, “Oh I wish it out of the snow in the mountains or at home if I was at the beginning of the fireplace when it rains,” said the dead?

If your answer is yes, we realize that your dreams are trying to care for indoors. Spell the beginning of this as I mentioned in the entire mountain house in the air is considered out for the snow or rain when you, like glass on the edge of the beauty of watching if you want the fireplace next to his firing from the crackle of meat you eat and wine you can sip.

Another feature of the interior of the hall is a twin. While sitting in a hall or across the room I wonder how I wonder if we sit across the tarafam? because I do not think the two sides to the table decor in the same sequence.”

Reckon they must sell kebabs!

Finally fixed my blog…

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Oh boy, got hacked, lost a couple of posts and then everything redirected to a chinese website.

I am honoured that they thought my lille ol blog was worth hacking.

Back to blogging tomorrow….

Just had to post this….

Friday, October 23rd, 2009
Politicians win prizes every time (good humour)
John  was in the fertilized egg business.
He had several hundred young layers  (hens), called 'pullets,'
and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He  kept records, and any rooster not performing
went into the soup pot and was  replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells
and  attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he  could tell from a distance,
which rooster was performing.
Now, he  could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report
by just listening  to the bells.
John's favourite rooster, Barry, was a very fine  specimen,
but this morning he noticed Barry's bell hadn't rung at  all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters  were  busy chasing
pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the  roosters coming, could run for
cover.
To John's amazement, Barry had  his bell in his beak, so it couldn't
ring.
He'd sneak up on a  pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of Barry,  he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair
and he became an overnight  sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded  Barry the No Bell Piece

Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise  as well.

Clearly, Barry was a politician in the making.


Who else but  a politician could figure out how to win two of the                
most  highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at                
sneaking  up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying  attention.

Vote carefully, the bells are not always  audible.

How many tweets make overload?

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009

I’ve been looking at Twitter as a learning tool. Convinced that there is some way we really can make this tool work for us and not just as a noise that gets in the way.

This morning a well know US pundit started to follow me after a post I made that they obviously liked. I was astonished to see they were following over 3000 others.

So I started to look at everyone and how many they were following, was I lacking in playing this game, not following enough and therefore missing something?

Some stats!

British gurus seem to follow far less than our US peers.

The average guru here follows less that 200 people, in the USA it averages at almost 1000.

I saw 127 tweets in the last 24 hours and I follow 60 people. So my hypothesis is that there is a 2:1 ratio of how many tweets you see to how many people you follow. Love to know if anyone can confirm this!

With that in mind, the guru following 3200 people must see 6400 tweets every 24 hours. Whoa!

I spend about 15 minutes, 4 times a day looking at twitter and following the odd link I find interesting. 1 hour a day. So another off the wall calculation says 1 minute per person being followed per day?

So for the guru following 3200 people they need to spend 53 hours a day to get the same level of information as I do from Twitter.

Some others I looked at!

Donald Clark, following 47. 47 minutes very manageable.

David Wilson following 162, does David spend 2.5 hours a day on Twitter?

Clive Shepherd follows 190. 3 hours a day? Maybe!

At what level does it get to be unmanageable? How many is too many to be able to see all of the information?

And, if we just skim the information, what do we miss and/or learn incorrectly!

If we want to use tools like Twitter in the workplace, can we limit the number of people our staff follow.

My crazy calculations would suggest an 8 hour day is equal to following 480 people and doing no work!

Have I got it wrong….

Rolex, Shirt and Sexy Massage – Shanghai Shopping

Friday, November 14th, 2008

Our trip to Shanghai to attend and keynote at Learning Enterprise China, contained many funny moments, to recall them all I could probably blog for the next month and we were only there for five days…

I was surprised at the lack of begging on the street, my memories from working in Shenzhen, Guangzhou and Guangdong many years ago is one of many children always pulling at your coat, begging for money. Never let one carry your bag as they always asked ‘hey mister, carry your bag, one dollar’, the stories you hear are that if you do, they will take off very fast and you will never catch them, or see your bag again.

What I did see in Shanghai were many people on street corners that as you approached them would pull a horrible old worn out mobile phone from their pocket and try to sell it to you. Why on earth they would think a ‘Rich Westerner’ (I think that is how they see western people) would want a second hand phone that looked like a group of Chinese had played football with it, I have no idea. They were polite though and when you said ‘no thanks’ they put it back in their pocket and often gave you a toothless grin.

I mentioned in an earlier blog some of the others who were at ‘Enterprise Learning China’, the reason for my trip, they included a very funny Roger Olsen from the USA and Tim Neill from TNA in the UK.

Tim went shopping on our second day, all by himself down to the metro and off to the ‘old’ part of the city to taste the ‘delights’ of China.

The story he told on his return he will dine out with for many years to come..

Walking the streets considering his presentation to the learning community Tim was approached by a very enterprising lady. (he did omit to tell us any more about this lady, so you have to make your picture in your mind) She had grabbed him by the right arm and asked him ‘you want to buy Rolex?’

Tim thanked her very much and politely said no, she persisted and Tim persisted in his polite manner. After the third of fourth attempt she gave up. Two minutes later she was back on his right arm. ‘ you want to buy shirt?’ Now she had a handful of shirts in many colours. No thank you declined Tim, still not losing patience. ‘Many colours and sizes?’ Tim now mildly agitated thanked her and politely said no and she went away.

Just a moment later she was back on his right arm, ‘ you want to buy tie’. Tim now at the end of his patience said a single ‘NO’ and she went away.

Relieved, Tim continued down the street a few paces until all of a sudden she was now on his left arm, no bags, no product, sidled up very close and asked Tim, ‘you want sexy massage?’

For those of you who know Tim Neill from TNA, you can only imagine his face. I for one would like to have had a camera and been a fly on the wall.

This was China, very enterprising with many products in stock!